We’ve all run into them online. Those self-appointed protectors of truth and detail who inhabit online photography forums. They are belligerent, usually in-your-face, combative, sarcastic, cynical, project an air of superiority, usually don’t actually take a lot of photos and when they do they are pretty much the same kind of snapshots a Noob might produce. If they have an extensive vocabulary they use it to cow those they are addressing.. verbal bullying is their main joy in life. They LIVE for it. They are Forum Bullies.
Most Forum Bullies are compensating for something lacking in their life, something they are missing, such as: respect, friends, social graces, sex, Etc… Maybe they’re pissed off because they are short, maybe they’re ticked because they’ve gone bald.. or maybe they’re just nasty people who did not get enough love as a child. Let’s call a spade a spade: They’re assholes.
These pitiful people feel compelled to address every single thread in a forum that they disagree with.. they just can’t let it go. They are like a moth to a flame. They MUST respond because “the other guy” is an idiot and does not know what he is talking about and SOMEONE (meaning them) must right the injustice done and squash the false information being disseminated by THAT idiot.
I disagree with things I read in online forums all the time but I don’t make it my business to respond to every single one of them. Really, people are entitled to their opinions, even if those opinions are based on faulty information. Just agree to disagree and move on. Hell, there are much more important things to argue about e.g. global warming, pollution, whaling, drug addiction, crooked cops… you get the idea, cameras seem to fall a bit lower in importance when you look at the big picture, don’t they?
Forum Bullies must have no life and no friends. If they have a wife and they treat their wife the way they treat people online I suggest they sleep with one eye open. If they tell you they have lots of friends, they’re lying and their so-called friends probably suffer them because they have no other options. If these bullies act in person the way they act online I am sure that someone would have put them in the hospital by now with a lesson well learned…. be civil or keep your damn mouth shut! The Internet allows many of these Forum Bullies to say things to others online that they would never say to them in person for fear of getting their asses kicked.
I’ve always hated bullies. I suffered at the hands of several when I was growing up. I remember one guy in particular during my high school days. Over the summer I grew quite a bit. I put on weight, muscle and height. When school began again I dreaded running into that guy but to my amazement he no longer seemed interested in me. It wasn’t until later that I realized this clown was no longer bothering me because he knew I could kick his ass.
Bullies only pick on those they believe they can dominate.
Here’s What You Can Do To Fight Online Bullies
When it comes to online forums and Forum Bullies, complain to the owners of the forum. Every single time you see one of these self-appointed defenders of truth step out of line. Complain. Do not get involved with name calling or sink to the level of the Forum Bully. That is what he wants. Do the right thing. When you see a Forum Bully attacking someone.. complain… every single time, never stop. Complain every single time. Not all forums have moderators so it may take some time but eventually these assholes will be evicted.. but only if YOU play by the rules and do not get sucked into the same bad behavior as the Forum Bully exhibits.
Trust me, it works. Been there, done that, several times.
Update: December 20, 2011… I bailed on a forum today because the owner of the forum was not enforcing their own rules. When a forum owner is non-responsive to complaints and allows the forum members to run roughshod over their rules it is best to leave as the lunatics are running the asylum. Sometimes the assholes win!
Update: December 28, 2011… I have never mentioned the forum name from which I bailed. I have not posted there since I left on December 20, 2011. In this blog post I have stated my opinion of how to handle forum thugs and bullies, nothing more, nothing less. At least one individual has taken exception to what I have written here and posted the following:
And some people here get away with things that others can’t possibly get away with. Example: I like Jim R. – A LOT. I admire his photography A LOT. But if I had raced to a personal blog and bashed [Forum Name Removed] for not upholding the rules…..good gravy….I would have been hung out to dry. It was wrong of him to do – and disrespectful of [Forum Name Removed]. It doesn’t make [Forum Name Removed] look bad – it makes Jim look bad, at least to me. I’m very disappointed that he did that.
I know the individual who posted the above. I like them and have no issues with them. I am sorry they do not see any merit or truth in what I have written here. Their own words kind of bear out the problem with the forum in question…. they state they would have been hung out to dry if they had done what I did. Hung out to dry by who? Probably the same forum members which cause all the problems.
Since I was used as an example here I feel I have a right to respond. First, I never mentioned the name of the forum anywhere in this blog entry. So it was wrong for me to express my feelings and suggest how people should respond to online thuggery and bullying in my own blog? I don’t think so. Any online forum that posts rules and guidelines for activity on that forum should be expected to enforce the rules they publish. If they do not enforce their own rules and one finds the forum to be objectionable due to a small group of people intent on being combative then the only thing to do is to leave the forum. That is exactly what I did. I left the forum with a final post pointing out the rules that were being ignored by some forum members and pointed out that the owners of the forum were not enforcing their own rules. All of it true.
If some find what I have written in this blog entry to be objectionable or unfair, then so be it. I will not participate in any forum in which a small group of individuals continue to engage in verbal battles, thuggery, name calling and pot stirring. If the owners of the forum cannot control the forum members then I have two options: stay and suffer through the flame threads or leave. What I have written is applicable to ANY forum, not just the nameless forum the individual above is referring to.
My post here was about how to handle those whose behavior in a forum is unacceptable. Do not wage verbal warfare with them. Do not get drawn into flame threads. Complain to the owners of the forum and be done with it. If complaining doesn’t remedy the problem then leave. It’s that simple and it is sound advice… for ANY online forum.
I belong to a number of forums and all but one of them are well moderated. In all of the forums that are moderated anyone who crosses the line of the forum guidelines is initially warned. If they continue to break the forum rules after they have been warned they are banned, in most cases, permanently. Seems fair to me.
Bottom line is this: If a forum owner has rules they expect forum members to abide by then they should be prepared to enforce those rules. To do anything less is to show disrespect for the majority of forum members who DO follow the rules.